I had a days holiday on Friday and was at home on my own during the day. This presented an opportunity to indulge myself or rather my feminine self.
So, after I got up, I had a long lazy shower, washed my hair and spent the morning dressed up with a black skirt and a cream satin blouse. The blouse was thin enough to show my bra and looked OK. I also put on a suspender belt and a pair of "almost black" stockings. Although I would hardly recommend them as practical when compared with tights, socks etc, the stockings and suspenders do seem to portray the ultimate feminine image. I almost put my knickers on first but then realised how inconvenient it would be with the suspenders over the top, so the knickers went on last! In the afternoon when I had to go shopping I changed my skirt for a pair of jeans and put a pink jumper on. It was interesting that I didn't get anyone looking twice even though I left my coat open to show my pink jumper and the collar/open neck of the blouse.
Later I had to get changed back to my normal clothes as I had to complete repairs to our washing machine in the evening. A replacement inner stainless steel drum, new bearings and seals. Not bad as I have kept the machine going for 24 years! Now it is running again and it sounds really smooth. As I get older and the more my feminine side evolves, the more I struggle to motivate myself to do these jobs. The counter is the real feeling of satisfaction I get when the job is complete and a pile of scrap has been given a whole new lease of life. I hate to scrap out anything which can be repaired, it just seems so wrong.
Although I had changed back to normal clothes in the late afternoon, I kept the stockings and suspenders on underneath my jeans for the rest of the day. They didn't really show unless someone looked closely at my ankles. The whole day was another small confidence booster in trying to understand and define the gender boundaries here where I live. So much is gender polarised in terms of colour, style etc for no apparent reason other than tradition/expectation and without any real foundation in necessity. Fortunately I don't live in "Red Neck" territory I am glad to say, so I don't have any threat of physical abuse to worry about if/when I don't conform.
My next hurdle will be an appointment with the hairdressers in the next week or so. My hair continues to grow longer and is getting a little ragged. My target is to have my hair washed and a slight trim to remove any raggedness, also to discuss shortening the back a little to even up the length.
All small steps but definitely continuing to progress along my road to "who knows where".
While I am feeling good with myself having had the opportunity to exercise my feminine side, I was saddened to hear that a good friend is struggling alone with a very heavy burden of family responsibilities and health issues. I wish I could provide more comfort and support in her time of need, she certainly deserves it.